I knew this would happen...

So what do you do when cant find a job that you went to school for...? Write a book? Learn new and fun things to fry in your newly acquired deep fryer? Have your grandmother teach you to knit? Find the best before and after photos of plastic surgerys? Well yes, I have done all these things during this time- but more importantly YOU TRY OUT FOR REALITY TV SHOWS. You throw away any sense of credibility or self worth that you have and go on a reality show to swear, cry and perform your best freak out in hopes to win money to pay your neverending college loans. Somehow I succeeded in making it on one to mine and everyone elses amazement... it's not like you need much criteria to make it on one, just share too much info and be as obnoxious as possible (check! check!) So here's my debut world.. it might be even harder to take me seriously now or employ me down the road.. but hey Justin Timberlake knows who I am now.. right?? maybe.....

The best part is that I look like an open mouthed horse and Justin has more feminine qualities than me. Thanks parents! (always blame them if there is no one else)

I have a New Jersey Complex

So something happened.....

 and I got a job in new york city... 

...which in turn, defeated the whole purpose of this blog I never wrote on anyways.

So I am going to take this in a totally new direction and focus my attention on living in New York (when I actually live in New Jersey.shhhh) 

The logic behind this is very simple... why live in the armpit of america when you can live in the city that never sleeps? 

The Sopranos vs Sex in the City

Meatheads vs Intellectuals

Hair gel vs Knit Hats

Garden State Parkway vs Brooklyn Bridge

.... this is enough convincing considering I am the only one who reads this.

 SOOOOO, How will I keep this lie afloat you ask? Simple... when people ask me where I got a job- I say "NYC" and they say," Oh great where are you living?" and I reply "Right on the Hudson River." The people that know what is good for them or aren't geographically inclined do not ask me what side of the Hudson and I continue thinking that I have succeeded in something- "Ya I coulda seen that plane land right in the water from my window.." I am almost 99.5% in the clear when I distract them with this clever topic of convo... because then we get into the birds and PETA and US Airways and how amazing the pilot was... blah blah blah and the topic has been adverted. According to them I still live in THE CITY, all is well .. phew.

BUT THEN.. you have those people who are just a little too inquisitive... REALLY? Get a life. Google something. Manage your datebook. Discover something new to eat for dinner in your head. "Ohhh where abouts on the Hudson are living?"  UGH. Busted.

Do they really care? NO. They just want to hear you say that you don't live anywhere near them or anywhere near their cool, hip, fun friends.

 "Oh- so you mean you live in NEW JERSEY then?"

"Well, you know I stay in the city a lot----"

"Uh huh, I bet.. like where?"

" Like the upper east west coast side downtown tribeca sohO." (this is mostly inaudible mumbling because, well, I have no idea what I'm talking about)

"But all your stuff is in NEW JERSEY though."

"I still have some stuff back in Boston too."

"Ya but your bed is in NEW JERSEY."

This conversation proceeds nowhere and I am left with my only defense to being a Jersey Girl is because, well, I don't have to pump my own gas here and doesn't that justify everything nowadays.

True NYC residents- 1 

ME&New Jersey- 0

If I was going to blog this is what I would blog about...

What do people blog about anyways?? The word itself turns me off. BLOG. BLOG. BLOG. Blogging. It kind of reminds me of another word for vomiting (like we don't have enough already, ie. spewing, throwing up, puking, regurgitating, upchuck, retching- you get it) But really, why do people blog? I was told one of the reasons I still (6 months out of college) don't have a job is because, well, I don't have a blog. Really guys?? I was also told if I lost 15 pounds, cut my hair a certain way, started practicing scientology, invested in a new wardrobe, learned a new language and only ate organic produce, I might be the budding journalist I've always dreamed of. Since none of those things really appeal to me, I'll start a blog and see if blogging fills that void in my life. So far its really only preoccupied me from googling people I graduated with to see if they are living the life somewhere warm and sunny with the job of their dreams, while I am sitting by a space heater in my parents basement BLOGGING. No, not upchucking, or even dry heaving- I'm blogging.